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There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house.

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I do not believe I deserved my friends.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I am upside down.

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.

I like children - fried.

It is amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

I am for whatever gets you through the night.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.