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I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that is not necessarily funny.

To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.

I can not watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That is my job.

As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I did not know that funny women existed. It was not until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

Straight men just can not imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

We live in a funny time. If you do not go corporate, you can not compete. You are relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that.

You can not teach somebody how to be funny. You are either funny, or you are not.

The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he is still as funny as he is ever been, and he is still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I will still be able to work.

The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like Mad Men is disgusting. It is a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it.

I do not happen to have a sense of humor personally, so I do not know what's funny about a character... This happens to be a feature of my life generally.

I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I did not understand, and in a way still do not, because when I look in a mirror it Does not seem funny to me.

For some reason, people find me funny. It is quite hard to define why a thought is funny. It is even harder to define why a person would be funny. It is a word that I can not define at all. But whether I know quite what it is or not, I seem to be it.

We all know funny people who can not get it down on the page - even funny writers who can not get it down on the page.

If it is inappropriate to write about, if there is nothing funny about it, then it is not funny.

It is funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment!

Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it is not jokes that are funny, it is characters that are funny. And is not that true! That is why I always kill jokes. I am terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can not get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon.

I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things.

Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children.

Strange questions are the more interesting ones. Children by and large do not try to trip you up... they want to find out how you do this funny thing that you do... if they've loved a story they love to know how it started.